Maybe I'm Selfish by Coach Jaleesa Robinson, M.A.
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
Up until last year or so, I've looked at being selfish as a negative trait, we all do. It's one of those words that you won't use to describe yourself in a positive light.
Interviewer: How would you describe yourself?
Me: Ummmmm I would say I'm hardworking, selfish, and goal-oriented
Interviewer: *Blank stare*
But what if I told you it was okay to be selfish? What if you accepted that "No" was a complete sentence, and making yourself a priority was not only okay, but mandatory. How can we be awesome husbands, wives, moms, dads, sisters, brothers, coworkers, and/or employees, if we are last on the list of people to check on?
Sign up for that class, enjoy that quiet time, get that massage, binge watch that show...whatever you do, do something for yourself, GUILT-FREE. No more explaining why you are or aren’t doing something. Stand by your actions without shame and worry.
I remember reading a quote that said, "You can't pour from an empty cup". Think about it. You literally cannot give something that you don't have. So my charge to you in 2020 is to be SELFISH!
(S) Screen calls-We all have those friends that emotionally dump on us with no regard to what we may be going through. When you get off the phone, they feel light as a feather, while you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. I’m not saying to never answer the phone, but what I am saying is that if you’re not in a place where you can handle the drama, “tea”, or complaining…let it ring.
(E) Evaluate- Take an inward look at your strengths and weaknesses. Ask yourself the hard questions and seek accountability.
(L) Leave people, places, and things that don’t allow you to grow and flourish.
(F) Fall in love with yourself! This includes changing what you can, accepting what you can’t and having peace with everything in between.
(I) Ignore people who try to use you, while identifying those who want you to be the best version of yourself.
(S) Spend Time Alone- Sometimes our greatest revelations, visions, epiphanies, and “wow” moments come from the quietness and stillness of our own thoughts and environment.
(H) Heal from past hurts and disappointments. Go to therapy. Write a letter to the person who hurt you, even if you never send it. But whatever you do, for the sake of your future self, HEAL COMPLETELY. Remember, slow progress is progress. Be patient with yourself.
I want to redefine selfish.
(of a person, action, or motive) concerned with one's own personal profit or pleasure FIRST.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you don’t care about others, it simply means you understand that if you don’t take care of yourself first, you can’t effectively show up for those you love. The airlines had it right when they said, in case of emergency, secure your own face mask before assisting others. You can’t help others if you’re not okay. Sis, I’m giving you permission to live.